Free - Standard Robotic Arm

Your CASKET comes with two ready-made robotic arms, perfect for MacGyvering your way through the toughest situations (if you're one lucky son of a bitch). They're quite mobile and can turn upwards, backwards, extend and rotate - but they have their limits. Cheap but effective, and best of all, they have only slightly fewer functions than the robotic arms we built them with. Has an attachment point, but no attachments pre-attached.

Free - Pincer Attachment

The standard-issue equipment for the CASKET's robotic arms. Undesirable in situations involving a degree of finesse better than a drunken sailor, its solid duraluminum frame makes it a perfect choice for target practice if you choose to eject it. Can double as a bludgeoning weapon in a pinch, or in rare cases, actually grab things. We hear many complaints about how "this makes me look like a crab", but frankly, we don't give a shit. If you don't like it, tough – buy something else. This isn't daycare. Note: You start with two of these. Getting rid of them will not give you any money back.

500 creds - Forceps Laser

This standard issue laser is hardly lethal to anything but fruit flies and attaches to one of your CASKET's forceps. It's a simple weapon: you point at what needs to be dead, and fire. Any simpler and we'd be teaching you your alphabet too. Note: If the forcep laser doesn't eat through the metal of your target immediately, please don't call customer support: either fire again or run like hell.

500 creds - Piton Gun

This standard-issue forceps-mounted weapon is a guaranteed one-shot-kill to anything smaller than a hamster. While not much more than a glorified nailgun, this has saved the life of more than one intrepid soldier by virtue of being on their enemy's ship. However, a lucky shot is quite capable of destroying glass, plastic, or computer equipment. And best of all - it's mounted on your forceps.

500 creds - Wrist-mounted Scythe

Katanas seem to be the weapon of choice in most fanfics. Everybody wants one, right? Well, spaceships and katanas don't exactly mix, but we've gotten you the next best thing: a thick, powerful blade with a razor-sharp edge, meant to be mounted on one of your CASKET's arms behind the foreceps. Effects vary depending on the target material, but it is generally highly effective, especially on plastic or cheap armor. Of course, being a melee weapon, you have to put yourself directly next to your target It's also slightly less than a meter long. Word of warning: try not to fly past an ally.

1000 creds - Spike Attachment

The story goes that our lead weapons designer got the idea after jamming his finger in a pencil sharpener out of boredom. We promptly fired him for a level of stupidity we'd only previously seen from the likes of you, but kept his idea, as this makes a fairly efficient and powerful ramming weapon. Attached to the end of one of your CASKET's robotic arms, the ramming spike can and will impale anything you point it at. Warning: Do not point at own face.

1000 creds - Large Scythe Attachment

Yeah, aliens are scary. It's a simple fact of life, and there's nothing you can do to change it - besides perhaps making yourself scarier to match their level of scariness. Based on design of the wrist-mounted scythe, this is a thicker, wider, longer version, about three meters long. It's also considerably tougher, and can be used as a shield to block bullets, though I'd be careful using it to block anything that can melt through durasteel. Makes you look like the most lawless mofo around, and can occasionally come in handy. Comes with optional decorative blood spatters or war paint.

1000 creds - Sideshield Upgrade

Don't like using robotics? Fine, fine, maybe you're a more militaristic type, or a tank afficionado. Maybe you're just retarded and think the robotic arms are ugly - or, FSM forbid, you think arms produce drag in space. Whatever the hell your reason is for disliking robotics, it's a reason to like the sideshield upgrade. Each purchase adds a sturdy curved shield of carbon nanotube reinforced steel on to the side of the CASKET, right where your robotic arm used to be. Robotic arms have a tendency to get damaged, and these have a tendency to protect you, deflecting up to 40% of shots under appropriate circumstances. As a result, you look slightly smarter than you probably are.

1000 creds - Sidecar Attachment

Maybe the thug life doesn't appeal to you. You'd rather be a bus driver, or maybe a soccer mom. Normally I'd call you a wuss, but I won't, because Tartarus has designed this specifically for dipshits like you. The sidecar attachment is virtually its own little climate-controlled bubble with full life support and a comfy seat. It also comes with its own batteries in case your ship's own power fails. Good for emergency evacuations. In a pinch, you could even eject it and use it as an escape pod - or just put somebody you really don't like in there and eject it, if you're too much of a wuss to tell them to their face.

1000 creds - MUSE Attachment

Holy shit - you're actually intelligent? Well, let me see what we have for someone like you… Hrm… Doesn't look like much - most of our "clientele" act like raging lunatics. Ah, wait a moment - I have just the thing. This Multi-Use Scanner Extension permits isolation and recovery of detailed data pertaining to the composition of minerals and elements located in adequate proximity to the protruding sensors. Includes apparatus suitable for limited extraction, containment, and archival of samples, in addition to spectral imaging equipment designed to provide extensive information on particulate substances. Most importantly, it clearly demonstrates your superior intelligence to inferior specimens such as your comrades.

1500 creds - Robotics Armor

Look at you, storming the alien base armored up in full heavy plate while they're sporting a couple wimpy shields. Bet you feel tough, don't you? I bet you even wrote "Only Does Infantry Combat" in your profile, too. You're pathetic, and there's no denying it… but this can fix that. This upgrade covers your robotic arms with thick armor plate, letting you not have to worry about them getting shot off. In fact, you're more likely to get your ship shot off the robotic arms. It won't fix the fact that you have the heart of a dirty coward, but it'll at least keep that coward's bladder from wetting your pants every time a missile looks at you the wrong way.

2000 creds - Circular Saw Attachment

A generally saner, safer alternative to the chainsaw attachment, the circular saw is probably not what you're looking for. It's somewhat slower at dealing damage, can break, and dulls with use - but the intelligent among you still consider it the better option of the two for the price. Not only do they excel at decimating unarmored targets, but the large, bulky blades can block some light laser fire in a pinch, although they shouldn't be used to block projectile weapons. Blades are easily replaced back at the Armory, and the generator never runs out of power under normal use. Be careful about letting it bounce back towards your ship, though. It's still dangerous.

2000 creds - Drill Attachment

Maybe you felt like you weren't a big enough target. Maybe you didn't feel right without two huge pieces metal wrecking your ship's balance. Maybe you just wanted to be able to make sexual jokes. Whatever your reason, this attachment is large, bulky, and powerful. On proper use, you can use it to easily and effectively drill through absolutely anything, provided it isn't moving relative to you. If it's thicker than your drill, you're out of luck too. Fortunately, you're not likely to find targets as thick as you are. Dumbass. That last statement goes for wannabe geologists especially. You should give it up and pursue your career after you get out.

2000 creds - Rugged Tread Upgrade

The Rugged Tread Upgrade replaces both your robotic arms in favor of protected full-drive steerable treads, utilizing your rear electromagnetic clamps as skids, so you have some degree of maneuverability on flat (or not so flat) terrain under gravity. Useful for if flying is considered dangerous, like in unusual situations where the native fauna is exceedingly territorial only when you're actually in midair, which is admittedly not likely to ever happen. It still could come in handy for getting around in tight spaces without worrying about how maneuverable you are.

2000 creds - Stake Driver Attachment

The stake driver is a simple thing. It's a long tungsten-carbide spike held in an electromagnetic acceleration coil which is, in turn, held fitted inside your robotic arm. The spike is generally kept retracted, but on the occasion that you want to poke someone's eye out, it gets launched forwards about nine meters at roughly twice the speed of sound. The effects are fairly self-explanatory. Have fun poking holes in things.

2000 creds - Taser Rod Attachment

In design, this thing looks similar to a police baton or something. When you activate it, though, it pumps power across it, which will subsequently arc into anything you hit with the weapon. A baseball bat, but with a taser about as wide across as you are. Remember to mount it correctly unless you want to fry yourself.

2500 creds - Auxiliary Hardpoint Attachment

There's not really much to say here, except that you're either an idiot or an idiot with a clear goal in mind. What's this - you're spending three creds to remove your robotic arms and put a cargo pod on in its place? Oh, sure, maybe you just want some extra spots for your engineering equipment. I can get that. Maybe you're a hacker and want to hack more - but did you think about all the space you're wasting? You're throwing away robotic arms, man! What the hell is wrong with you?? Sometimes I wonder how you fools even made it out of the stone age.

2500 creds - Robotic Fingers Attachment

Originally an adult pleasure model that got taken off the production line after the prototype test went horribly, horribly wrong, the robotic fingers are perfect for assisting you in any task from rewiring a computer mainframe to tying your shoes. It was originally incapable of lifting anything heavier than an adult toy – not that you'd find any of those in space. Note: the dexterity of the fingers depends upon the upgrade quality of the CASKET's robotic arms. THIS IS NOT FOR HUMAN USE. It attaches to your ship. These are very large fingers we're talking about here. Attaching it to your own arm will void the warranty.

3000 creds - Chainsaw Attachment

Are you the murderous type? Of course you are - you got shipped to Tartarus, after all. What better to have on your ship than a chainsaw for a full-blown massacre? With a sturdy generator-powered engine and blade-tipped chains, this is the way to really show what kind of person you are inside. It's also a hazard to your health if you're not particularly good with robotics; has a tendency to bounce back against the CASKET if you try to cut armor that's too thick for you. Best if used without a shirt on so the enemies can see your godly, rippling pecs -and as an added, free bonus, nature will you out of the gene pool for taking your suit off in space, moron.

3000 creds - Arm-mounted Razor Whip

By popular demand, we're releasing an auto-retracting whip version of the Arm-mounted scythe. Significantly longer and more robust, and considerably easier to use when you're trying to swing across gorges in an escape from an archaeological site. It also packs a considerably longer punch, but this comes at an increased risk of breaking. While the Scythe could snap as well, it lacked the length to come whipping back at the user's cockpit. This weapon, however, does not lack that capacity. It also uses up an entire arm instead of attaching behind the forceps.

3000 creds - Retractable Flail

Nothing quite says "I'm gonna fuck you up" like a giant spiked depleted uranium ball at the end of a carbon-steel chain. The favorite weapon of dark knights since the medieval ages, it is quite capable of ruining anything mechanical and causing untold amounts of damage to internal systems - but don't expect it to break anything apart. When it's not in use, you can reel up the chain and keep it nice and safe by your robotic arm. Be aware that it's exceedingly difficult to maneuver while you're swinging the thing, though - and it's definitely unwise to swing more than one at a time, unless you like untying knots.

4000 creds - Kinetic Piledriver Attachment

This completely replaces one of your ship's robotic arms. It uses a combination of electromagnetic acceleration, pistons, and kinetic amps to blast powerful shockwaves into whatever you're trying to hit. The system is heavy and requires a bit of time to recharge between successive uses, but is very powerful and able to obliterate soft targets in a single blow. Its true strength comes from its ability to completely shatter armor. Giving your allies friendly nudges with this weapon is not recommended. We've seen that too.

4000 creds - Side Engines

Want to go fast? You should buy an afterburner. Want to go slow? Get shot a few times. Want to go spinning out of control? Don't buy these engines. These swiveling engines are masterpieces of technology, and the only way you can reliably pull off a Crazy Ivan. If you need to turn your ship in a hurry, this is what you should use. Lets you easily perform crazy aerobatic maneuvers like you're in a stunt crew, as well as removing the need for turrets. It unfortunately replaces both your robotic arms and takes a bit of robotics skill to be able to use effectively, but when you know how to use it, you won't have any problems.

4000 creds - Tesla Saber

Swords made of plasma would melt you inside of half a second, and laser swords aren't possible, but we'll give you something similar – a sword made out of lightning. Basically a miniaturized Tesla arc, firing arcs a few thousand times a second, contained within a protective field. It doesn't so much cut as burn, electrocute, melt and generally vaporize the living shit out of anything it touches. As previous convicts have discovered, does not give good haircuts.

5000 creds - Blowtorch Attachment

A powerful chemical laser with an extremely short diffusion range. Great for cutting through walls, floors, or other pesky barriers between you and your goal. Usually more effective than just ramming the wall – and will cost a lot less to repair, too. Note: Spaceship exhaust is not flammable, so don't try any juvenile pranks. You'll probably just wind up melting your CASKET's robotic arm off.

5000 creds - Hidden Blade attachment

This modification makes you look like a fucking ninja. It hides a three-meter monoatomic machete inside the robotic arm in question. When activated, you can extend it at fairly devastating velocities. Sharp enough to destroy almost anything, and uses quantum vibrations to assist in its cutting power; if you want a cutting tool that can reliably slice through all but the densest materials, this is the tool for you. Also, did we mention it makes you look like a fucking ninja?