Suit Upgrades

If you break these, we'll replace them. If you come back as nothing but a head and we have to put you in a new robot body, tough - you'll have to buy them again. Deal with it. You can only wear one suit, and you can only wear one belt. Trying to wear more will not only make you look like a klepto but will also kill you.

Helmet Slot

You can only wear one helmet at a time. Helmets can only be worn by typically-sized humanoids.

0 creds - Normal Helmet

It's a helmet. You wear it on your head. I apologize if this is a difficult concept for you to understand. It is not a receptacle designed to contain vomit. If you use it as such, just remember: you're on my list.

1000 creds - VISION Helm

The VISION Helm hooks directly into the brain's auditory and visual processing centers, providing a wealth of data from a 360-degree array of cameras and light microphones. The helmet's computers then intelligently discern what parts of the user's surroundings merit attention, making it much more difficult to sneak up on you - and much more difficult to hide from you. As an added bonus, this also makes the helmet very tough.

2000 creds - ELDRITCH Helm

In case of irreparable damage to the body or a specific command from the user, the ELDRITCH helm will activate an explosive cord that cleanly separates inmate's head from the body, and special polymeric materials flow in to seal the opening. A small motor then starts circulating an oxygen- and nutrient-rich solution through the brain, while nanite-built metal laces connect to the cortex movement centres. The procedure takes about 15 seconds; after that, four leg-like appendages sprout out of the base of the helmet, allowing your head to move around and escape the battlefield. The nutrient solution will not last longer than an hour, however; after that period, brain death is declared and the user must be resurrected on the Tartarus.

2000 creds - SCANS helm

Your standard-issue PDA is normally the most expensive piece of equipment you're carrying around, so of course it's going to be the first thing you assholes turn your noses up at. "SCAMPS, I can't use it because I can't fire my assault rifle at the same time and don't know how to use a pistol!" Well, boo hoo, you little first-world wuss, grow some balls and deal with it - or, buy this helmet. Even more expensive to manufacture than the PDAs, we're giving it to you anyway for a low price to get you to finally shut the hell up. The SCANS helm connects to your brain via your PSI jacks and lets you perform basic PDA scans without even moving a muscle; everything gets overlaid on the inside of your helmet. If you're still whining after that, then to the airlock with you.

3000 creds - TARGET Helm

Including state-of-the-art cameras and intelligent interfaces, the TARGET Helm is capable of significantly increasing your accuracy with a multitude of holograms and displays projected on your visor. These follow your every waking thought, providing information about your targets and helping you keep track of evolving environmental changes. The helm works in reverse as well; by keeping track of your motor centers and your intended target, the helmet is able to send electrical impulses to your nervous center and help increase your aiming accuracy by up to 16%. While this may not seem like much, it has frequently been proven to be the difference between life and death, because all of you idiots are terrible at shooting - and those that aren't are typically terrible at everything else.

4000 creds - PSI Helm

One of the questions I get asked the most often is, "SCAMPS, why isn't the PSI helm standard equipment? It costs so many creds!" Because it's expensive as hell to manufacture, dipshit. We're talking about the contents of a regular PSI chair contained in something the size of a helmet. Yes, it looks a little strange - that's to be expected. It connects into your brain through terminals we've installed in your spinal column and basically reads your mind. As with anything, this takes skill - but it does free you up to carry less. If you want to specialize in psionics, good for you - this is probably what you want. If you don't, well - don't bother complaining about the price.

Suit Slot

You can only wear one suit at a time. Suits can only be worn by typically-sized humanoids with organic bodyparts.

0 creds - Standard Suit

This is your standard spacesuit. Flimsy, skinny, and unimpressive, it's actually a hell of a lot more expensive than you asswipes seem to think. You typically go through them like toilet paper. If you damage this thing, you typically damage yourself. Nothing is free, shitbag. Keep that in mind.

1000 cred - CCC Armor

CCC is a suit coated with an anomalous material powder. That probably means nothing to you idiots, so I'll just say this: It makes you impervious to lasers. The stuff basically absorbs energy and lets it back out as heat and visible light. This can essentially light you up like a Christmas tree - and if you put enough power into it, it'll burst off the suit like firecrackers, and you'll find yourself with a glaringly bare patch. Best not to jump in front of any high-powered lasers to shield your allies. Hope you like wearing purple.

1000 cred - Nanite-Sealed Suit

A truly wonderful piece of technology, the Nanite Suit upgrade ensures that you'll never, ever have to worry about suit punctures. It replaces everything but the helmet with a layer of nanites. When they detect a drop in pressure, they'll quickly seal off the breach. Sounds great, right? The downside is that the nanites are cheap enough that they can only handle organic materials - and this means you. They'll patch you up afterwards, of course, as they're designed to seal off sources of liquids (which also means you'll never bleed out), but it's going to hurt.

1000 cred - Reactive Armor

Light armor just too bronze age for you? Afraid of the nanite suit, but can't afford heavy armor? That's fine. We have a solution. This suit is practically the same thing as your regular REKT spacesuit - pathetic, weak, prone to holes, designed by an idiot. It does, however, completely protect against punctures from high-speed projectiles. This doesn't mean it's good against heat, and this also doesn't mean it'll last long against a ship-based railgun assault: you'll just get flung into a wall. It doesn't defy physics, people. It's just a suit.

2000 creds - Light armor

Feel like your suit is a bit too flimsy? Well, it is. It wasn't designed for combat use. Sucks to be you, doesn't it? Fortunately, we have this. Purchasing this gives your suit some light armor. It might not deflect bullets, but it's definitely enough to keep you a little safer, especially from things like shrapnel or light lasers.

2000 creds - Hazmat Suit

Along with the crowbar, this is a particularly popular piece. Keeps you safe from almost anything you could shake a stick at - except the stick itself. Electricity, fire, acid, radiation - laugh these off and walk away. Lasers, blunt trauma or blades, though - well, then you've got something you might have a little more trouble walking off. One size fits all - we'll tailor it to fit you. Best displayed while backlit with a fireball.

4000 creds - Heavy armor

Tough as hell? You bet. Turn yourself into a walking tank with this heavy armor and laugh as enemy ships try to grind you into dust. As the bulkiness significantly slows your movement, you won't be able to do too much to them in return, but you can definitely laugh. Requires some degree of strength to handle - the bulkiness of the armor makes you look as strong as some sort of futuristic space marine, and it's not lying.

4000 creds - Exoskeleton

Though a bit costly, this upgrade will finally give you the strength you've always wanted. The moving parts are kept underneath the outer layer of your suit - the bulky look will make you just seem more muscular. Useful for brutalizing your way through barriers or just impressing the ladies. It will not, however, protect you from incoming weapon fire. The machinery isn't strong perpendicularly to how it's intended to be used.

Belt Slot

Belts can be worn by any typically-sized being.

1000 cred - Thruster Pack

This backpack system uses a xenon-powered electrical repulsion jet to propel the user at low rates of acceleration. It's not much, but it's better than floating free and doesn't need time to recharge. Make sure you think about how you're going to stop, though. Best used if you've somehow managed to get off into deep space - or if you just don't feel like holding onto your ship while you move around it. Can be dangerous if used without appropriate skill.

2000 creds - Jump Jet

This is practically ancient technology at this point, but some of you guys wanted it, so here it is. We even slapped a generator on it for you so you can use it infinitely. It won't let you jump tall buildings in a single bound, but it'll definitely let you hop over those medium-sized ones. A single burst is capable of propelling you up to half a kilometer skywards under 1g, and then it'll take a couple minutes to recharge. Keep in mind that if you use up the whole burst, you won't be able to slow down when you come plummeting back towards the earth. In space, it's a good option to get you moving forwards at a rapid clip if you've somehow lost your ship. Can be dangerous if used without appropriate skill.

2000 creds - Rocket Boots

Ever since you were a kid, you always looked to the skies and dreamed you could fly. Every waking moment was spent imagining how majestic it would be to soar through the air. You drew up designs for wings and even tried to build some, but as ingenious as your solutions were, they failed to leave you satisfied. Most unfortunately of all, you were too fucking retarded to realize that we have spaceships, dumbass. If you still want to fly but don't want ships, you probably want Rocket Boots. Much less bulky and powerful than the Jump Jet alternative, it gives you rockets on your boots. How obvious. It also gives you smaller stabilizing rockets on your hands to keep you from flying out of control - but still requires some degree of skill and can be dangerous if you don't have it. A cheap alternative to just grabbing a gravitic shotgun.

3000 creds - Energy Shield

Functionally similar to an exceedingly weak force field, the energy shield works off of the probability principle, dynamically adjusting its field strength in response to danger. This of course leaves frequent holes in the shield, but provides you with a higher probability of being missed. In all likelihood you'll be entirely unaware of its function; you'll just find that bullets hit you a little less often. This doesn't mean it's invincible. We generally use this device to weed the imbeciles out of our troops.

3000 creds - Stealth Field

Hopefully this will be the last time I decide to edit this description. THIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU IMPOSSIBLE TO DETECT. It makes a person "invisible" by bending light in the visible spectrum around the user. It also makes a faintly visible bubble effect, and absolutely will not hide or otherwise disguise belches, sneezes, and farts. Why do you numbskulls even think doing that near enemies is funny? This is a tool to help you sneak up on targets - SNEAK. That does not mean you can talk and laugh while you walk around, and you should probably stay in the shadows. Instead of relying on a piece of tech, actually use your brain for once! You have it for a reason.