Unconventional Weapons

See also robotics.

2000 creds - Eighth Kiloton Charge

This is a one-eighth kiloton nuclear weapon. It has been described as "explodey" and "really cool" by various members of our previous shock troops. For external use only. Or not – go ahead and shove it up your nose. As eighth kiloton charges are technically impossible, the REKT crew has been kind enough to monitor your nuke and teleport everything past the 1/8 mark elsewhere, as you didn't pay for it. FSM bless those bastards.

2000 creds - EMP Grenade

Some electrical equipment you'll find is protected against this kind of attack, as it tends to be a rather glaring weakness for electronics. Some things, however, aren't. Keep this in mind as you chuck this baby forwards. Note: To fire grenade, detach it from your ship while moving forwards and then slow while it continues onwards. It's very large and will likely deal damage just from collisions, so be careful.

3000 creds - Kinetic Bumper

It looks like a cowcatcher! It hits like a rocket-propelled elephant! This thing amplifies the kinetic force of your collisions by up to a square of the original force without increasing the relative force felt by the user. May not seem like much, but when 3000 newtons becomes 9000000 newtons, you'll gain a new respect for exponents. Also try to remember that your ship isn't invincible – you'll still take the regular damage of the collision. Warning: Deactivate this thing before docking or I swear I'll kick you out an airlock.

3000 creds - Microwave Field Manipulator

A particularly dangerous item – be wary of using this. Named more for its effects than the actual function – some kind of scientific mumbo jumbo crap – the net result is that it makes wet things hot. You can heat a cup of coffee or boil a man's brain in his skull. There isn't really much use for this in space, but who ever said we were keeping you in space the whole time? Also particularly fun to use on anthills, or so we're told.

3000 creds - Blunderbuss

One of the more bizarre pieces of so-called "unconventional weaponry", the Blunderbuss is less useful in combat and more useful as a support item. Generally inaccurate at anything less than short range, it uses highly controlled low-yield explosives to launch large shells at painfully slow speeds, and the built-in transponder will allow the pilot access to whatever functions the round might have. However, how it gets there isn't important - what matters is that if one of these rounds hit anything, it'll get stuck. Permanently. Effective even in a total vacuum - we don't call it super goo for nothing.

4000 creds - Tesla Arc Projector

Imagine a bug zapper. Now, imagine a bug zapper that you can mount on your ship and will fry everything within 500 meters. You are now imagining the Tesla Arc Projector - the electrical equivalent of a flamethrower. While a flamethrower would be useless in a vacuum, the Tesla Projector is quite good at zapping enemies directly through the walls of their cockpit. Even with a miss, you can fry their computer. Note: Electrical current will quite happily leap from foe to friend if you're bored enough to fire while they're in the way.

4000 creds - Kiloton Charge

It's an awful lot like the eighth kiloton charge, but eight times bigger. Set for time or remote detonation and run like hell.

5000 creds - REAPER

At Tartarus Inc., we understand that people like you have an innate desire to crash your ship into enemies to damage them. They're willing to do it even if it wrecks their ship - and they will do so on the slightest provocation. While this does make them total retards, we aim to please. With this upgrade, you can emulate ramming people without actually having to scratch your paint job. Useful in everyday situations like when you forget where the throttle is but still remember how to operate the RCS thrusters. I know you. You know that feeling. It really makes you want to ram something, doesn't it? With a stronger frame, you can target multiple foes at once, though it'll take longer to recharge.

6000 creds - 10 Kiloton Charge

Hey, look, it's a bomb. Hey, guess what – it's ten times as strong as the last one. Guess what again – if you stick it up your nose you're still a retard.

8000 creds - Magnetic Field Manipulator

Allows for the manipulation of magnetic fields, and therefore anything susceptible to magnetism. Useful for smashing ships against asteroids, crushing a cockpit like a grape, or hanging your less intelligent squadmate's crayon drawing on the fridge.

8000 creds - Proton Sword

This thing was never meant for actual combat, and if you were using it on the interior planets you'd probably wind up back here because it's illegal as fukc. Thankfully, you're on the outer rim, and you can use this baby against whatever you like. Can slice through just about anything with even a halfhearted sweep. Designed to be used in short bursts, sweeping the beam across your targets. Works just as well on heavy plate armor as it does bare flesh.

8000 creds - Electroshell

Rather than being mounted to any particular portion of your ship, the Electroshell generates a "shell" of electrostatic electricity that will leap to enemies within melee range. Combined with a solid ramming maneuver and your robotic arms in the appropriate position, it's practically unstoppable – simply sidle up to your enemy and smile, while letting 800 gigawatts do your dirty work for you. Warning: Stay far away from allies if you choose to install one of these… unless you don't want to, of course. Also, for god's sake, make sure you turn this thing off before you leave the cockpit.

10000 creds - 100 Kiloton Charge

This is that handy in-between stage nuke. Can't decide if you're aiming for a total platoon kill or actually helping? This is the nuke for you. Costs one to two times the pay for a single mission, but will blast everything to Hell, and anything that's left will probably feel like it's already there. The damage really starts to ramp up around here.

12000 creds - Gravity Field Manipulator

This thing is a particularly nasty piece of work. Ships can be built to protect from heat, radiation, projectiles both mundane and fanciful, and all other kinds of weird shit, but gravity is a different story. Few enemies have personal gravity projectors to prevent them from being crushed flat on a whim, and even if they do, it won't protect them from the fifty-ton boulders you can toss around with this.

14000 creds - Vector Field Manipulator

Now, THIS is a nifty little toy to have around. It's like a normal gravity field manipulator, except you can program it with more detail. Instead of being a one-time affair like a gravity field, vector fields are capable of moving along with your accelerating object and even curve its path. Use it to pick up a 1-ton chunk of metal and propel it around a corner at the end of a hall, use it to set something spinning and then fling it away, use it to stir the batter for your little sister's birthday cake. The possibilities are only limited by your intelligence - which, by the way, it takes a lot of to use.

15000 creds - Megaton Charge

Take a fukcing guess. Hit the button and run, retard, run.

20000 creds - Universal Field Manipulator

With this, you become a living god of technology - something all mankind should aspire to. With one weapon, you have the power to do absolutely anything you could dream of. The laws of the universe are yours to control, putty in your hands, begging to be made into a giant likeness of you - or whatever else you'd want to do with ultimate power. It also takes ultimate intelligence to be able to master, but it does at least leave you a large number of free slots for more conventional weaponry.